The Dreaded Teen Bands

There are a few bands out there right now that I despise…actually I should not say band, I should say music, I despise their music. Panic and the Disco being the one I despise the most, just because I genuinely think its shit music. I just do not get it and it is not very catchy…at least for me. I know the teens love them, but they also love Paris Hilton and MTV so that’s not really saying much.

Fall Out Boy, Maroon 5, and My Chemical Romance seem to be a slight exception for me. I genuinely cannot handle all three of these bands but they have caught my ear with a few songs here and there.

Maroon 5: I cannot stand the Adam Levine. He comes off rather pretentious and pompous at times, and as many know, I do not handle arrogance very well. It instantly turns me off and I refuse to give anyone a chance after that.

I was in a car when a friend was playing Maroon 5’s first cd. It is hard to resist a funky beat with a great hook and unfortunate for me, Maroon 5 is drowning in funk and hooks. I dug the songs, “Harder to Breathe” and “This Love” (which makes me want to dance like a white person) and I hated the, “She will be loved” song. God that was absolutely HORRIBLE.

Their new CD has one really funky song that I can’t get enough of and I hate that. It is called “Wake Up Call.” Man, talk about a song that you cannot help but move to. The same friend who showed me the first CD showed me this song as well. My mother is obsessed with it and one drunken night when I was driving both of them home; my mother played this song 5 times in a row. I was instantly sucked into it.

Fall Out Boy: That music just makes my skin crawl, because this band is brainwashing people into believe this is actual music when it is not. It amateurish and that is why it is so popular with teens. I have no hope for the youth in this world, they flock to whatever is “in” that month and make it huge, which then only give these so called “bands” huge egos, and they start to believe their own hype. Today’s youth have no ability to think for themselves, it is pathetic. Real music, like “The Decemberist,” “Beirut,” “The Dresden Dolls,” and “Interpol” barely get airplay or recognition. Have a beat looking tool of a bass player named “Pete Wentz” and “OMG, their like the best band ever!”

Why is Pete Wentz the face of Fall Out Boy and always front and center when all he does is play bass?

The lead singer for Fall Out Boy who wears the hat, I am so in love with him. I love that, “This ain’t a scene it’s a arms race,” song, it’s fucking catchy I’ll give them that. What got me the most about that song was “hat guy’s” singing he just blew me away. I’m a sucker for guys who can wail and boy does he have a set of pipes. He probably has more talent running through his veins then that ugly bastard Pete Wentz, but because he is the “hunk” of the band, “hat guy” takes the back seat.

Someone please explain the appeal of “Pete Wentz” that guy is fucked up looking and dresses like a 15 year old girl. The makeup…come on dude, you are not that cool to be wearing eye liner, you look like a fool.

My Chemical Romance: I think Heroin was their drug of choice. I cannot stand this band, I really cannot. Especially with this concept album, jesus Christ, a bunch of fucking nerdy ass dungon and dragons geeks trying to be musicians. I am so tired of it, seriously. Where is Trent Reznor when you fucking need him? Chris Daughtry rocks harder than these guys and he was on American Idol, pretty sad. Also, he pulls off the make up thing (even though I hate it) a lot better. The Black Parade just came off as trying a little too hard. Again, “The Decemberist” are much better at concept albums and story telling through music than these armatures.

I will however say, that “Helena” when Gerald wails towards the end, sucked me in and I admit I dig that song. That was the only one and I have not listened to that CD. The Black Parade has one good song out of the two I have heard from the album, actually it’s a really good song and I hate to admit that. I was watching A&E and they were advertising for “The Sopranos” while the clips were showing they had this very theatrical song playing and I immediately said, “Who the hell is this.” Come to find, it is My Chemical Romance. I hated myself for liking it, and then liking it even more when they sampled Liza Minnelli on the track. I will give them those songs but that is it, and I refuse to purchase the CDs just for the songs.

They suck live too, which is a huge factor in me liking a band.

Is it too much to ask for some decent music with real musicians who do not have to create and image to sell their music. Is it too much to ask the music to sell it’s self?